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NO JOKE: POST OFFICE IS OUT TO LUNCH

SalmonClosing post offices at lunchtime is “stupid,” says Red Banker Tom Salmon.

It’s a loaded question, but it begs to be asked: is the U.S. Postal Service deliberately courting outrage among its customers?

How else to explain the newest changes to the hours of operation of three local substation/satellites of the Broad Street, Red Bank facility? According to postal service spokeswoman for our area Darleen A. Reid-De Meo:

• Starting Saturday, October 18, the Westboro office on Shrewsbury Avenue will be open from 8a to 4p, except for an hour for ‘lunch’ from 1 to 2p, when it will be closed.

• The Fair Haven substation will be open from 9a to 4p but also closed from 1 to 2p for ‘lunch.’ Just over four months ago, the office started closing at 4, an hour earlier than before, angering some merchants and residents.

• At Fort Monmouth, they’ll be closing for ‘lunch’ from 11 to 12, but that office will open at 9 and close for the night at 3p.

The changes come on the heels of schedule modifications and other moves to curtail counter and lobby service at area post offices.

In August, the Broad Street facility, which postponed its opening so that the counter now opens at 10a. Yet the facility also removed all the stamp vending machines that were in the lobby until shortly before that change took effect; the machines had been accessible at times when the counter was closed.

The changes also come amid some griping that the Westboro office doesn’t adhere to its posted hours. A borough official who asked not to be identified tells us that on more than one occasion, she has arrived at the Shrewsbury Avenue office to find it closed when it is supposed to be open.

What gives? redbankgreen asked Reid-De Meo. Her reply, via email:

By analysis of our Window Operations Survey (WOS) data only one clerk is
needed at these locations. The customer traffic and transactions can not
support two clerks. Therefore in order to control costs we have made
adjustments to staffing and hours of retail operations. Clerks were
moved from these two stations to support the busier retail traffic at
the Main Post Office and in the Shrewsbury Office.

There are two reasons why the Postal Service is removing or redeploying
vending equipment.
The equipment is obsolete, making it difficult or impossible to repair.
Not enough people are buying stamps from the machine, which means it is
not bringing in enough money to pay for the cost of keeping it stocked
and maintained.

Yet postal employees who are not authorized to be quoted tell us there’s no change in staffing planned at the two-person Westboro outlet, and that having just one person work there would raise security issues.

At noontime yesterday, we asked some customers of the Westboro station what they think of the changes. None of them were aware of the pending change — perhaps due in part to th fact that the notices are posted behind smoked glass. Here’s what they had to say:

“It’s stupid. The post office is the center of a town. If you’re going to lose that you might as well shut down the town. Also, Red Bank is very Broad Street-centric. I use both post offices, but this one needs to be enhanced.” Tom Salmon, chiropractor

“It’s wrong. It should be open.” Angry man who declined to give his name

“I’ll deal with it, but it’s difficult.” Brian Kirk, business owner and musician

“I usually come after 2:30, but it might be inconvenient for other people.” Judy Ramos, Red Bank

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Riverview Medical Center Red Bank NJ
  • Don't be outraged, just enter the 21st century like the rest of us. The last time I entered a post office was to retrieve my mail after a vacation.

    The vast amount of financial obligations can be satisfied by paying online - show these incompetent ninnies that you have no use for them.

    Posted by: Dilly Bar on October 10, 2008 at 8:59 am | Permalink
  • Don't be outraged, just enter the 21st century like the rest of us. The last time I entered a post office was to retrieve my mail after a vacation.

    The vast amount of financial obligations can be satisfied by paying online - show these incompetent ninnies that you have no use for them.

    Posted by: Dilly Bar on October 10, 2008 at 8:59 am | Permalink
  • So, at the time when most people take a lunch hour and might run errands, like going to the post office, they will find it closed. Those same people who work from 9a to 5p, will have to go out of their way to find a post office that will be open to accommodate them. Now we just need another raise in the cost of a stamp. You gotta love the government :)

    Posted by: Susan at Black eyed susans kitchen on October 10, 2008 at 3:37 pm | Permalink
  • One can only hope that the salaries of postal workers have been lowered accordingly. Since they are now working five fewer hours each week, their pay should be reduced by same. For a 40-hour workweek (which I suspect is far more than the hours actually worked), this would be a pay reduction of 13 percent.

    Make sense?

    Posted by: Laura in NJ on October 10, 2008 at 5:00 pm | Permalink
  • Apparently, the clerks who were"moved to the Main Post Office" do not work on Saturdays. I am standing in line at the Main RB station with 8 people ahead of me, and guess how many clerks are on duty? Just guess!

    It is an absolute outrage.

    Posted by: Laura in NJ on October 11, 2008 at 12:33 pm | Permalink
  • Update: there are now 11 people on line. And still only one clerk.

    Posted by: Laura in NJ on October 11, 2008 at 12:38 pm | Permalink
  • So, I hope that the folks at the UPS Store on White Street in Red Bank are sitting up and sending flyers to everyone in the neighborhood! Bob has always given us great service with a smile, friendly helpful staffers and hours that accomodate the entire community! Hey, maybe US Post Box Customers might start renting from you instead Bob! At least we'll know that we can get friendly professional service!!! Thanks Bob and Crew at UPS!!!

    Posted by: UPS STORE IS LOOKING BETTER EVERYDAY!!! on October 11, 2008 at 8:29 pm | Permalink
  • upsfan, is not the owner called Paul..regardless, though, they all are very helpful down there. better than that miserable one down at Marshalls.

    Posted by: Gary Morris on October 12, 2008 at 3:41 am | Permalink
  • Well believe me the postal workers whose hours are being cut and their lives impacted aren't the reason.

    Doesn't everyone deserve a lunch break susan?

    The postal workers get screwed by mgmt and get no support from the customers they have served tirelessly through rain, snow, hurricanes, anthrax and various other dangers that you probably never even think about and go places you would never dare to go.

    No wonder America is down the tubes.

    How about supporting those workers and calling a congressman or upper mgmt. to help save american jobs.

    Your job might be next.

    Posted by: NO WONDER on October 13, 2008 at 11:02 am | Permalink
  • Apparently, the clerks who were"moved to the Main Post Office" do not work on Saturdays. I am standing in line at the Main RB station with 8 people ahead of me, and guess how many clerks are on duty? Just guess!

    It is an absolute outrage.

    So tell somebody..I'm sure that clerk was just elated she had to work by herself..

    but it's always just about "me" right?

    Did you know that USPS carriers have been elected to deliver antibiotics in case of a bio attack on our nation. (google it)

    Bet you would be glad and very thankful to see them coming then.

    Posted by: NO WONDER on October 13, 2008 at 11:11 am | Permalink
  • I'm so tired of listening to the complaints about clerks and carriers. As if this was all our idea!

    Anybody ever question why postal vehicles have to have at least a half a tank of gas at all times???

    It's the most diverse govenment fleet available in an emergency, and has been that way since the 50's with the inception of the civil defense laws.

    Carriers will be protected in case of a nuclear attack, but not their families, so that they will be available and able to work at whatever needs to be done.

    So go ahead…complain about the carriers and the clerks, who are only doing what the upper management said they should be doing.

    Just pray you never need them.

    Posted by: a on October 13, 2008 at 11:32 am | Permalink
  • By the way.the UPS stores have to have their mail delivered to them, and picked up by the postal service.

    Posted by: a on October 13, 2008 at 11:35 am | Permalink
  • Stop complaining and get to the Post Office when it's open. You people bitch and moan about any little thing while accepting the fact that our property taxes are moving us to the breaking point. Keep being proud to vote liberal and dolling out dollars to every tom, dick and mabel who not only don't deserve our hard working dollars but who'll demand even more in the coming days. We are the dolts in New Jersey not the postal service who treats you like the polticians do. We've accepted this. Now live with it.

    Posted by: PigDaddy on October 13, 2008 at 12:01 pm | Permalink
  • Stop complaining and get to the Post Office when it's open. You people bitch and moan about any little thing while accepting the fact that our property taxes are moving us to the breaking point. Keep being proud to vote liberal and dolling out dollars to every tom, dick and mabel who not only don't deserve our hard working dollars but who'll demand even more in the coming days. We are the dolts in New Jersey not the postal service who treats you like the polticians do. We've accepted this. Now live with it.

    Posted by: PigDaddy on October 13, 2008 at 12:02 pm | Permalink
  • Uhh, Laura, answer is NO; does not make sense. If they are Regulars they still work 40 hours, just makes their day an hour longer! Thanks for trying in vain to cut my wages. The rest of you evidently so obtuse as to think it's the employees, not their superiors, who deliberately short-staff offices. Please.
    Last office I worked in - and I could produce the letter - was told by a supervisor that one-clerk only was a tactic she would use to purposely anger and frustrate people and get them to use job-cutting APC mailing machine in the lobby. We used to hand copies to angry people like you.

    Posted by: Dave in MA on October 13, 2008 at 1:08 pm | Permalink
  • Uhh, Laura, answer is NO; does not make sense. If they are Regulars they still work 40 hours, just makes their day an hour longer! Thanks for trying in vain to cut my wages. The rest of you evidently so obtuse as to think it's the employees, not their superiors, who deliberately short-staff offices. Please.
    Last office I worked in - and I could produce the letter - was told by a supervisor that one-clerk only was a tactic she would use to purposely anger and frustrate people and get them to use job-cutting APC mailing machine in the lobby. We used to hand copies to angry people like you.

    Posted by: Dave in MA on October 13, 2008 at 1:10 pm | Permalink
  • Ya people really need to differentiate between craft employees and management decisions. Trust me, the craft employees hate the same things customers do but we have to put up with bad decisions made by management. Management is without a doubt by far more concerned about saving a few bucks than providing good service at this point. And you might say "well, its managements job to lower costs." Well, the problem with that is if you lower costs by reducing service, people will take their business elsewhere so in the end, they are lowering revenue, much of the time in greater amounts, than they are lowering costs.

    Posted by: ARR on October 13, 2008 at 1:22 pm | Permalink
  • Look people, as a window clerk for 5 years now, I have seen it all…happy customers, mad customers, I have also seen those clerks who do the job on a daily basis and yet have their Supervisors breathing down their necks telling us to do the oposite that we have been trained for. I have seen Management change date cards on mail, YOUR MAIL to make it looks like this ton of 3rd class mail arrived three days AFTER if actually did…why? so the so of a $#%#@ can go on vacation ! We expect things to get worse then what they are now in the near future. Maybe you see only ONE window clerk, the other son of a B&^%$ is in the back making sure YOUR mail get's into the Post Office box in a timely manner so you don't THROW one of your hissy fits ! Our job is understood, we know what to do each day, it's the upper management that changes things to save that dollar or to ensure they get their bonus at the end of the year.

    Posted by: Post miss on October 13, 2008 at 2:45 pm | Permalink
  • Why do insurance companies close at 5? Why do utilities close at 5? Maybe I, a postal employee want you to stay open at all hours of the night. Every company has rules and they change all the time. Most places in my small town close at 12-1. For PO's to close at 1-2 is normal nationwide. I used to work one of those. We also have to eat. Or we could always increase the stamp and stay open until 8pm, as I worked one of those also. And to the uninformed, we are not subsidized by the government. Only the purchase of products keeps us alive, unlike Wall Street.

    Posted by: Charlie on October 13, 2008 at 2:48 pm | Permalink
  • Try to change it. Management is looking to privatize and ruin the USPS just like every other privatized effort.
    UPS and Fed-Ex are chomping at the bit to get a piece of the pie. What do you think letters will cost to mail then?
    Wanna help? Call and complain to your congressman and Senator. Also, dial 1-800-ask-usps and complain. Make sure to get your confirmation number. Management HAS to respond to complaints, so impose on them a little. Maybe that will help!

    Posted by: Underdog on October 13, 2008 at 3:26 pm | Permalink
  • I'll also point out that while the USPS pleads poverty the Postmaster General and his "office" got 39% raises.
    Is anyone outraged in the general public at all?

    Posted by: Underdog on October 13, 2008 at 3:27 pm | Permalink
  • My station are busy station , they closed at 6PM , now the at 5PM . The postmaster saod because this office is too busy .

    Posted by: post mr on October 13, 2008 at 3:32 pm | Permalink
  • Oh, just suck it up! It's not like the Postal Service belongs to you people; we're no longer tax-supported and, in fact, pay $5 Billion a year into the Treasury. I'm a Supervisor and you wouldn't believe the sort of people they give me to work with. Why, they want lunch breaks and even bathroom breaks….

    Posted by: Henry Solomon on October 13, 2008 at 3:34 pm | Permalink
  • yup, sounds like that is exactly what they are trying to do, make service and delivery so bad, that when they farm it out to the low bidder no one will complain

    Posted by: dawg on October 13, 2008 at 5:33 pm | Permalink
  • Its not the clerks, its the management. The answer is yes, the management at the postal service wants to piss people off and run the service into the ground and turn people against the service. Why? Because they want to create a climate that will let them get rid of union workers who have good pay and benefits and contract out the jobs to low wage and NO benefit workers who won't actually be USPS employees. Some company will bid to provide the workers for the "service" and run them into the ground and when they quit they'll be replaced again and again. Next to go in your town will be the blue mail collection boxes around town, if they're not gone already. How do I know this stuff? I work for the USPS.

    Posted by: A Postal Worker on October 13, 2008 at 7:19 pm | Permalink
  • i have been a city letter carrier for 24 years,when i began carring we started the shift at 6 am,and the business route at 530 am, by 3pm most of the mail was delivered and the businees mail was to be delivered before noon, now a days,we keep delivering later and later, usps does not care for customers service unless it is" customer conect" to get the new revenue,and of course we failed picking up packages on time because we keep cutting service. it is a shame we have the people and the tecnology to do an excellent job, but we need to start making management liable for the poor decision that they make in a daily basis. by the way,dont we all work for the same usps?how do you explain that some districts do not consider certifies letters an accountable item,we do not sign for it anymore,and lately the registers are coming loose in the mail. I THOUGHT CUSTOMER PAY EXTRA MONEY FOR THE SECURITY? WHAT KIND OF SERVICE DO WE PROVIDE?

    Posted by: susana on October 13, 2008 at 8:26 pm | Permalink
  • A few comments suggested calling your congressmen and/or senators. While this sounds good, there was a clerk last year who was almost fired for doing exactly that, and the postmaster did not want any bad publicity, like the PO is not bringing any on it's own head.

    I feel bad for the clerks who have to take abuse from the angry customers, without getting any backup from their bosses.

    Posted by: Nixieman on October 13, 2008 at 8:53 pm | Permalink
  • A few comments suggested calling your congressmen and/or senators. While this sounds good, there was a clerk last year who was almost fired for doing exactly that, and the postmaster did not want any bad publicity, like the PO is not bringing any on it's own head.

    I feel bad for the clerks who have to take abuse from the angry customers, without getting any backup from their bosses.

    Posted by: Nixieman on October 13, 2008 at 8:53 pm | Permalink
  • A few comments suggested calling your congressmen and/or senators. While this sounds good, there was a clerk last year who was almost fired for doing exactly that, and the postmaster did not want any bad publicity, like the PO is not bringing any on it's own head.

    I feel bad for the clerks who have to take abuse from the angry customers, without getting any backup from their bosses.

    Posted by: Nixieman on October 13, 2008 at 8:53 pm | Permalink
  • The last office I worked at the window was fairly well staffed until a manager came in with great ideas of "saving money". Seven clerks and three mail handlers were cut from the station and moved back to the main office, leaving TWO window clerks. Let me make this clear … NOT one of the employees wanted to leave this station of their own volition. We had pride and satisfaction in doing our jobs well and helping customers (angry ones included). Now there are only two window clerks left, mail is left in the back unworked and there are lines of customers out of the door. It's management that's making these screwball decisions, NOT THE EMPLOYEES!

    Posted by: A Mail Handler on October 13, 2008 at 8:58 pm | Permalink
  • Blame U.P.S. they started this .and wrost they to it with less hours of window service hours and you better know how to use a p.c. and they are closed on sat. the p.o. is just trying to keep up with corp. trendes.

    Posted by: mojo on October 13, 2008 at 8:58 pm | Permalink
  • Just make sure you fill out the survey and join the 21st century online!

    Posted by: Anonymous on October 13, 2008 at 10:20 pm | Permalink
  • Wow! Some very self rightous postal employees. Funny thing is, you really should wake up and smell the crap, as not a single one of you are immune to what is happening in our economy today. You smug entitlement driven workers. The one reoccuring theme that is being written here is the us vs. them mentality. "Stupid Managment". It's all their fault! You really think that you local boss has any control over what he/she is being told to do? Not likely! The only way that the USPS will survive is when all parties stop pointing fingers and collaborate to save the Service, but alas, it will take a two by four to the head (in the form of layoffs and RIFS) for you all to realize that your cushy little overpaid governement protected job is not as protected as you once thought.

    Oh and yes, so very impressive the spiel of how you all would save the day by delivering precious medicine to us masses. Yeah right. As fractured as a group as you are, I bet the whole lot of you will follow the instuctions of your boss and get out there and deliver the cure!! Fat chance! I'm so comforted.

    Posted by: papadawg on October 14, 2008 at 1:13 am | Permalink
  • papadawg, your a moron. Management refers to all levels of management, from the low to the high. We have about 170 or so craft employees in my office and id say about 90% of them are hard workers, id say thats a pretty good percentage considering all of our managers are lazy assholes who worry only about pay for performance bonuses. I really hate people who say our jobs are easy and call it "civil welfare" and shit like that. The turnover is so friggin high in my building for new employees, its not even funny. Its like a friggin revolving door.

    Posted by: ARR on October 14, 2008 at 2:45 am | Permalink
  • Since the vending machines are being pulled for being old why not use "STAMPS BY MAIL".
    Ask at the counter or you mailman to bring you an envelope "STAMPS BY MAIL". Then you don't have to wait in line to by stamps. Just fill out the order along with you check and your stamps are delivered to you by mail. I am a retired postal worker! The U.S. Postal Service is suppose to be a service provider to the general public!!

    Posted by: Ron Jensen on October 14, 2008 at 11:15 am | Permalink
  • Just remember, these cuts in hours are NOT to give employees lunch, it is to CUT clerk hours paid. Clerks are only paid the hopurs they actually work, not 40 hours. For example, today I drove 30 miles to work and worked for 3 hours, then I had to drive 30 miles back home for my 6 hour "lunch". Then drive 30 miles back to work again to work for 2 hours and 15 minutes, then drive 30 miles back home. So, i drove 120 miles for 5 hours and a quarter pay.

    That is the reason your Post Office is cutting hours in the middle of the day. So they can only pay clerks to be there at the beginning and/or end of the day, rather than all day. Also, if they "close" in the middle they can force the Posutmaster to work the window when the clerks are gone but still not go over 8 hours, and still be open late enough that the public won't riot.

    Please do not blame the clerks. We are fighting for our very jobs while the Post Office is trying everything they can to only give us the minimum 2 hours they have to if they bring us in. Yes, we make a pretty good hourly wage, but it doesn't go far when you get 10 hours a week. They want to replace us with casual employees working for peanuts, and they want to FORCE you customers to use the internet to order stamps, and click-n-ship and carrioer pick-up for packages. Postal management does not want you in the Post Office, they want you doing it from home or buying your stamps at the grocery store. Then they don't have to pay clerks.

    Yes, you deserve better service, but the Post Office lost 3 BILLION dollars last year! They cannot sustain those loses and unless you want walmart delivering your Mail you better wake up to what is happening and ask your congressman to help the Postal srvice, or you shortly will not have one. Thank you.

    Posted by: wny clerk on October 14, 2008 at 7:09 pm | Permalink
  • I work in an office that had 5 collection boxes. 3 were removed last week. Great for customer service. That decision was made by upper management from the district, not our post office. You people need to be on the line to your congressman instead of complaining about it here.

    Posted by: carrier66 on October 14, 2008 at 8:32 pm | Permalink
  • God knows, were it not for the half decent pay & good benefits, I would not wear & tear my body, not to mention dealing with the crappy management and their stupid requirements. Dont blame the clerks and carriers, blame the people in charge of the post office (postmaster on UP)! When management is more worried about scans and quotas than actual service to the customer, then the entire postal service is in trouble!! And, we are….and it is not the craft workers and, even in some cases, not the postmasters either as they are puppets of the puppetmaster!

    Posted by: L J on October 14, 2008 at 8:56 pm | Permalink
  • WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
    Craft workers are always complaining about terrible service because of Management. Have you ever watched a craft employee "work"? What a joke! These people are related to turtles.I've had APWU members tell me to slow down when I was a clerk and carriers bringing mail back to the office because it was to dark WAAAAAA! SO don't bitch about management when APWU and NALC is oviously giving rotten service.OH, and I can't forget the city carrier( president of the NALC);that told me he was lazy and could care less if the mail was delivered. I got away from these losers so I could work and not be crusified.

    Posted by: postmr on October 14, 2008 at 9:19 pm | Permalink
  • Tick…tick…tick…tick…What's that sound? The sound of the USPS imploding! Cuz to many fingers are pointing at all the wrong places. Stop blaming, take a look in the mirror, step up to the plate and TOGETHER, figure out how to save the company. All your blame, all your whining about clerks don't do this, postmasters don't do that, wake up people! Don't you think this does nothing but play into the hands of the folks that want to privatize you? When you get that pink slip from the "new and improved" PRIVATE delivery company, then will you wake up?

    Posted by: papadawg on October 15, 2008 at 1:27 am | Permalink
  • Please remember Postal Workers are TheHelp.
    We are flunkies for really nasty and stupid overseers of our US Postal system (the best in the world I might add). We get fed up with the incompetence our ShiningStar leaders force on you (the customer) by the bucketful every day. It's sadly true and we (TheHelp) are caught between enraged customers (you) and self-important-MinorDieties (them) with the power to hurt lots of people.
    And ya know what?
    My Union's unofficial motto is true… "they can do it".
    Don't be mad at TheHelp.
    Calling your Congressman will help America.
    It's a great way to let someone know who cares and can do something about it.

    Posted by: TheHelp on October 15, 2008 at 4:45 pm | Permalink
  • This should be about the customer. it is unfortunate that postal managment felt the need to close the branch for lunch. it is also unfortunate that the business at the Westboro Station is so light that management even considered this move. the station was closed for almost two years. during that time the public rallied in support of thier neighborhood post office. they called thier congressman and they called the mayor and they called the postmaster. the post office responded to that preasure and renovated a delapidated building. unfortunately after the westboro station re-opened the customers did not return. where are they? maybe this banter will increase the business at the station and maybe it will make more people aware that the branch is open and ready for business. the new hours will make the branch more conveinient for customers who need service prior to nine am. this is a possitive. the hours have been changed in the past and they can be changed in the future. demonstrate a need for service visit the Westboro Station.

    Posted by: westboro on October 15, 2008 at 8:10 pm | Permalink
  • What dawg said is true. Upper Management is trying to run the service to the ground. Postmasters and supervisors are nothing more than bobblehead morons who do what ever they are told by upper management even though they know what they tell us to do is ridiculous. I'm a carrier on a business route with alot of opportunity for revenue, yet the PM and supervisor will not give me the tools I need to capture that business. A supervisor walked with me the other day and a customer asked me questions about express mail. I answered them to the best of my ability( I used to be a window clerk). When I got back to the office the supervisor Informed me that I talked to a customer excessively and that is a time wasting practice.

    Posted by: john on October 15, 2008 at 8:41 pm | Permalink
  • Yeah papadawg when illegals and contract workers are delivering your mail and stealing your identity who will be crying then?

    Maybe we should just contract out all the jobs in America since us American workers feel so "entitled".

    oh wait..we already did.

    Posted by: sellnout on October 16, 2008 at 5:12 pm | Permalink
  • not to worry peeps. wen i bees da pres i close dem offices all day.
    votes fo i
    OBam YoMamma

    Posted by: OBam YoMama on October 16, 2008 at 8:39 pm | Permalink
  • I am guessing these people have put in a nine hour day to get the one hour for lunch. People
    need to take a lunch break. Deal with it.

    Posted by: Marvin on October 20, 2008 at 12:54 am | Permalink
  • These people have to put in a nine hour day to get that one hour for lunch. Postal workers need a lunch break like everyone else. Get over yourselves. It's not about you. I work as a letter carrier, and my hours are from 7:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. That's more than 8 hours.

    Posted by: Marvin Washington on October 20, 2008 at 1:56 am | Permalink
  • If craft would show up for work daily instead of calling off sick and hiding behind FMLA. We probably would not be ruducing all these office hours. You prove the office can get by without your sorry ass everytime you miss work.

    Posted by: Bigdaddy on October 23, 2008 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

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    • 09.03 - Fair Haven Fireman's Fair The Big One! A touchstone of local life and an event whose joyous good times are nearly tempered by the melancholy that signals the onset of another school year. All the standbys are back for this 51st year at the River Road firehouse: the Ferris wheel and firetruck rides; the 'Out Back' snack bar and out—front kiddie rides; the Super 50/50 and the seafood kitchen. In fact, we'd suggest you start lining up right about now!
    • 09.03 - Red Bank Walking Lantern Ghost Tours Jersey Shore Ghost Tours invades Red Bank once again, with guided nocturnal tours of the borough's most historical haunts, every Friday night through Halloween. Tours and ticket sales meet at 8pm in front of The Dublin House; reservations recommended at 732.500.6262.
    • 09.03 - OLD MONEY First Avenue Playhouse presents a comedy about elderly counterfeiters, clueless kinfolk, hapless mobsters and a scheming girl scout. It's served up with coffee and dessert; visit the website for details on available dinner/show packages.
    • 09.04 - Jody Joseph: One Legend, One Diva, One Woman On September 25, the First Lady of Shore barband rock pays tribute to Janis Joplin and Stevie Nicks — with a portion of proceeds donated to the nonprofit Mary's Place by the Sea.
    • 09.04 - SEVERE CLEAR On September 11, the Count Basie Theatre honors the memory of Lincroft's Beth A. Quigley and the other victims of the 9/11 attacks, with a special screening of the documentary SEVERE CLEAR, directed by Colts Neck filmmaker (and Iraq War vet) Michael Scotti. The director joins the Quigley family in person at this event, a benefit for the nonprofit organization ReserveAid. Doors open 7pm for a one hour cash bar; tickets (50 to 100 dollars) available from the Basie box office and additional info at www.reserveaid.org.
    • 09.04 - Buc Backer Bash at RBR On October 30, Red Bank Regional High School presents a Booster Club fundraiser, with music, games and prizes inside the gymnasium and all proceeds dedicated to the RBRHS sports teams. More info and reservations (25 bucs; adults only) at bucbackerbash@aol.com.
    • 09.04 - SkimBash 2010 Competition On September 11 and 12, skimboarding pros and enthusiasts from all over the USA converge on Sea Bright for the annual competition, sponsored by The Mad Hatter and Skim City and hosted this year on the municipal beach behind Borough Hall and awarding trophies in categories ranging from 5—8 year olds to grownup professionals. $$25 event registration (75 for pros) gets entrants an event t—shirt, lunch and other giveaways. There's live music too, and the Sunday finals are open to spectators free of charge!
    • 09.04 - Touch a Truck at RBMC TICKETS ON SALE NOW for September 25. It's a chance for kids to climb aboard a firetruck, sit atop a bulldozer and, yes, touch a truck — and it's presented 'rain or shine' as a fundraiser by Monmouth Day Care Center from 10am to 2pm in the parking lot of Red Bank Middle School. There's also face painting, a 50/50 raffle, food vendors and more; tickets (10 dollars per family; kids must be accompanied by adult) can be purchased in advance by calling 732.741.4313.
    • 09.04 - Paddle the Navesink Day On September 18, Navesink River Rowing presents a 'community wide celebration of the river;' a chance to walk or row the Red Bank riverfront and check out the all that the borough has to offer in recreational activities along the Nav. Included are free kayaking lessons and demos from Jersey Paddler, tennis on the clay courts at Marine Park, sailboat rides and food from Monmouth Boat Club, tours of the North Shrewsbury Ice Boat Club, plus seining, fishpainting, canoeing and a tour of the oysterboat Adam Hyler. All activities are free and it all starts at Maple Cove (foot of Maple Avenue off West Front Street). Call 732.241.9532 or 732.693.3067 for more info.
    • 09.04 - Fair Haven Fireman's Fair The Big One! A touchstone of local life and an event whose joyous good times are nearly tempered by the melancholy that signals the onset of another school year. All the standbys are back for this 51st year at the River Road firehouse: the Ferris wheel and firetruck rides; the 'Out Back' snack bar and out—front kiddie rides; the Super 50/50 and the seafood kitchen. In fact, we'd suggest you start lining up right about now!
    • 09.04 - OLD MONEY First Avenue Playhouse presents a comedy about elderly counterfeiters, clueless kinfolk, hapless mobsters and a scheming girl scout. It's served up with coffee and dessert; visit the website for details on available dinner/show packages.
    • 09.05 - Twin Lights Bike Tour On September 26, the Highlands Business Partnership and Bike New York host the 9th annual biking event through some of the state's best seashore and countryside scenery. Online registration available at www.bikenewyork.org. Registration/check—in at Huddy Park, Highlands, at 7am.
    • 09.05 - Tour de Fair Haven On September 19, the Borough of Fair Haven and the FH Business Association team up with USA Cycling Federation to host the annual biking event (a 3.1 mile closed course along the Navesink) that commences from the Fair Haven Firehouse at 7am — with kids' races and family activities following at 1pm. It's a benefit for the Joan Dancy & PALS (People with ALS) Foundation, and more info can be had at 732.449.2254.
    • 09.05 - Red Bank Farmers Market Fresh, locally grown produce from some of New Jerseys finest farmers, plus equally homegrown crafts, at this Sunday morning staple running May through the middle of November in the Galleria parking lot.
    • 09.05 - Reach Up at United Methodist Church United Methodist Church of Red Bank introduces a 'casual, informal,new kind of worship experience,' one in which 'you don’t have to be Methodist. You don’t even have to be Christian. Just have a desire to explore your own spiritual being.' It's come as you are, with no reservation needed.
    • 09.05 - The Highlands Community Singers The summer season of free concerts at the Atlantic Highlands Municipal Harbor Gazebo concludes with this traditional homegrown offering at 7pm.
    • 09.05 - Open Mic with Rob Dye and Mike Ghegan A tradition around Red Bank for years, the Sunday night event is THE place to find musicians congregating, hanging out, trying new ideas, cutting up on some classics and generally enjoying one of the MUST events for Jersey Shore music fans.
    • 09.06 - Lunch Break 2010 Fall Gala On October 4, the Red Bank based nonprofit presents A NIGHT OF SONGS & TASTES OF OLD ITALY, hosted by Rumson resident and Hollywood actress Siobhan Fallon Hogan and featuring Italian songs by Tony winning actor John Leone. There's also a smorgasbord of samplings from top area restaurants and caterers, silent auctions and more. It happens at Two River Theater; contact info@lunchbreak.org for additional details, or call Toni at 732.747.8577.
    • 09.06 - Philosophy as a Way of Life On September 13, the NJ Branch of the School of Practical Philosophy presents a lecture by Russell Bosworth, based on Pierre Hadot's book about how the study of the great philosophers can lead to life of happiness and greater awareness. It's hosted at King of Kings Lutheran Church in Middletown; visit philosophyworks.org/events for more info.
    • 09.06 - Side by Side: Images by Vicki Culver and Norma Kay Little Silver's Boro Hall is the setting for an exhibit of handcrafted photo collages by Vicki Culver and digital art photography by Norma Kay; on view through September 30 during regular hours.