The Red Bank Regional High School board of ed is closing in on a new set of rules governing student conduct following a discipline controversy that erupted last winter.
Proposed revisions to what is now an athletic code of conduct, scheduled for discussion at the board’s Nov. 5 meeting, are not yet known, except that the policy will be expanded to apply not only to athletes but all students involved in extracuriuclar activities, says school spokeswoman Marianne Kligman.
In a prepared statement, the school says the changes “represents the culmination of a process initiated last spring to involve all stakeholders — parents, students, staff, administration and community leaders — in redefining a fair, consistent and community supported code of conduct that will hold all our students engaged in athletic and co-curricular activities to the same high standard of conduct.”
The changes follow the administration’s controversial decision last February to discipline athletes who were deemed to have violated RBR’s athletic code of conduct by their involvement in a party that was raided by police over reports of minors consuming alcohol.
Kligman says the board is discussing the the section of the RBR Coaches Handbook that addresses the conduct of athletes. Download rbr_athletic_code_of_conduct.jpg
She says, via email:
The following key points will be included in a new code:
1. It will be written not as an “Athletic Code of Conduct” but an Extra-Curricular Code of Conduct which will apply fairly to all students who participate in extra curricular activities. Whether a student is in a club, on a sports team or in a performing arts group–that student is asked to uphold the same code.
2. the new code will be more thorough in defining expectations for athletes and those who participate in extra-curricular activities.
3. The administration expects to draw up a policy that will be fair to all that are involved in extra-curricular activities.
We suspect some of the points above will be made by the public, as they mirror concerns the public expressed at past meetings. However, the Board is anxious to hear all concerns so that the public and parents will be supportive of this code and, therefore, it will be respected and upheld by our students.
The school brought in an expert on for a presentation to parents earlier this month.
The meeting is scheduled for 8p in the school’s media center.
Like it or not, drinking is part of high school.
Everyone who raided that party did it.
Everyone in the party did it.
Everyone who was at the party's parents did it.
Everyone on the board did it.
One rule SHOULD be enforced. Jail time for drunk drivers. Zero tolerance.
This policy still does not make sense, as it does not apply to all students equally: only those involved in sports or extracurricular activities. The students who are not involved in anything are not affected. If RBR is going to have an intrusive and draconian policy concerning behavior outside of school, let's at least be consistent and treat all students the same.
My opinion? What students do outside of school is none of the school's business. Whether they drink, smoke, have sex, cheat on their taxes, or drive too fast, it should be a matter for their parents and the police, not the school.
If everyone jumped off the bridge, does that mean you should too? Its exactly this kind of ideology that is leading children to endangering themselves with drugs and alcohol at alarmingly earlier ages. I would hope that the average red bank resident would be brighter than this sort of response. Also, it is not a question of should be enforced, rather must be enforced.
WSW -
Seems you have something to learn of human nature. Take something away and we want it more. Remember the forbidden fruit?
I agree that excess endangers the youth of today. However, responsibility, accountability, and moderation are virtues falling in between the extremes of prohibition and hedonism. This is not something that can be regulated but rather taught by parents, peers, and by example.
I am by no means encouraging binge drinking. My point is merely that it is part of high school life, like it or not. It will continue to be a part of high school life.
Your argument is akin to abstinence from sex. Not going to happen. Better to educate than have a far reaching ban.
Unfortunately many of the teachers at RBR need a code of conduct, while some are dedicated - the GYM teachers - are rude - arrogant bullies. What an example they set.
Good point RBR Dad - what if your kid isn't involved in any activities? What's the punishment for that kid?
Is it 1984 all over again? I thought Soviet Style tactics would be going out with this current Bush Administration. Orwellian Control, be it in the form of Over-Parenting or Over-Reaching HS Adminosphere simply doesn’t work with bright young minds. I say please let HS young adults be HS young adults while they can. I for one would rather have them learn their own limits within the confines of our relatively safe community at arm’s length then postpone the inevitable to a freshman year at WhoKnowsWhat State, where it all happens well outside parental reach. Like rules, codes are made to be broken too.
The party in question was held at a Shrewsbury Home that is notorious for having alcohol. The parents were home and knew what was going on. When the parents were charged their friends (parents of other students who also condone such underaged drinking) led an outcry that if our kids get in trouble, all the kids present, even those that did not drink but were just present, have to be disciplined as well. The culture of "I'd rather have them drinking here than somewhere else" only increases the opportunities for kids to get drunk. Until the parents that would rather be hip than be a parent by allowing kids to drink in their homes curtail their law-breaking, it is unreasonable to hold the kids to a higher standard. It is only because of the sympathies or certain Shrewsbury RBR Board members whose friends got caught that this whole thing got re-focused solely on the students. What ever happend to the parents that were charged???
As parents, we have given our kids a clear message that we do not want them drinking. I think the policy is helpful to those parents who are setting high standards for their children. The truth is that "everybody" isn't doing it. There are many kids who don't drink or have sex in high school. I'd rather set high expectations and have my kids miss a game or activity than have them die from alcohol poisoning or an accident (auto or otherwise) brought on by impaired judgement. And yes they may choose to drink, but it won't be because I encouraged or condoned it. Or because the school decided to look the other way.
I agree that education is key. However, I also think RBR is right in holding their athletes to a standard. I understand RBR Dad's point, but holding a student to certain expectations seems fair. Students are not required to participate in extra ciricular sports or activities and so should they choose to do so, the school has a right to set certain standards. College and professional athletes are also held to certain standards so this seems like a similar agreement. Perhaps it should be universal as to include all students? Or maybe worded better?
responding to big_rebel: I just want to clarify a few thing to everyone who thinks they know exactly what happened at the "raided party". First off it did not get blown out of hand for the reasons you state, it was because the police handled the situation in the wrong way, and were therefore forced from higher authorities and town members to enforce a no tolerance policy. The police let the teenagers leave without obtainign everyones information. In fact, they let teens drive home, without testing anyone for alcohol in take.
As to RBR: RBR threatened, harassed, and intimated students and handled the situtation wrongly. They jumped to conclusions, and acted before any one was proved guilty or found to have been drinking. In the end, no one was found to be guilty and no charges were placed on any teenagrer, as Mr. Westervelt was convinced that chargers were pending…he was wrong, very wrong. No charges or summons were ever issued, and the adminstration made the biggest mistake and upset an entire community, which is why there needs to be a written rule to deal with substances…inside of school. To what students do outside of school should not concern the adminstration. The parents are in charge of their children and should discipline them accordingly. If other parents do not agree with how some children are disciplined, it is not their problem. It is a private, family, which the school or other families should not intervene, especially when they do not know the real circumstances of the "raided party". There is also inconsistancies in how the police handle house parties. Some parties get busted…nothing happens, while others are reported to the school. Schools cannnot punish kids with based on these inconsistancies.
So before this happens again because, most kids drink and will continue to drink, even the ones you dont think do drink.
The school has no right to hand out any punishments for things outside of school Period! If my child is being disruptive in school, then they should deal with it. If my child gets in a fight at school, then they by all means have the right to do what is needed. If my child J walks, it is no more there buisness than if they had a beer. What happens out of school is between me and my child. Our schools have enough problems to deal with. So stay out of mine.
IF IT DOESNT HAPPEN IN SCHOOL IT THEN THE SCHOOL DOESNT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
PERIOD
Seems like kids are posting on this issue. Grow up and take responsiblity. Happen in school ground or not you should be more responsible. Stop blaming everyone except yourself. Grow Up!
Being an athelit does not give you a reason to misbehave. You have to face consequences especially when you chose to be an athelit.
Grow up!
This is the right policy to enforce. If it makes any student think twice before drinking alcohol and prevents a tragedy it was worth it.
To those who feel it is an invasion of privacy my guess is you don't want your child to be that tragedy, because you would be the most vocal if it was. Finally to the parents who feel it is OK to provide alcohol to minors at home. If you serve alcohol to my son and he is injured as a result, you better have a good attorney!
first off its spelled athlete. second off, the students did nothing wrong according to the police becasue no one was charged with underage drinking, because no one admitted they were drinking. so in other words, no one was drinking. These parents have no idea what happened and they are putting their two cents into something they know nothing about. The bottom line is, if its happens outside of school, the school does not need to be involved. If a student choses to drink on school grounds, then the school has every right to do something.
It's hard to punish these high school kids because like most posts said "all of us did this at one point in our lives". That's definitely true on my part. My friends and I drank every weekend and even some weekdays when we were in high school. BUT we were stupid sometimes. We drank too much too fast. Puked mom's homemade dinner up many nights. Blacked out for hours. Had unprotected sex. Drunk drove on our mopeds and then cars when we got our licenses. Started smoking weed. ALL OF THE THINGS MY PARENTS TOLD ME NOT TO DO. You're an idiot if you think you kid is an angel and abides by your rules. You're an even bigger idiot if you think weed is the most extreme drug in the schools. Cocaine and heroin are in RBR, RBC, R-FH. Several kids just got busted with Cocaine at R-FH this past week. They had it in their pockets/purses while in school. This wasn't some weekend party in a friends basement. Their addicted to these drugs and can't get through an 8 hour day of learning without using. I didn't even know where to find coke in high school. Times are different. It's not only drinking and weed anymore. I applaud RBR for attempting to stop these kids any way possible. They realize its an extreme epidemic and likely to get worse before it gets better. Get your heads out of your asses and start snooping on your children. You may not like what you find but if you find your kid isn't so innocent or truthful as you think he/she is then you just might save them from ruining their lives.
Way too many parents especially in this area of Monmouth county try to hard to be their kids "pals". They dont want to tell them no, they let them have parties with alcohol, let them go away for weekend trips with friends at 15, etc.
When the police do catch the kids, half the time its "dont they have anything better to do", or "my child may have a scholarship that this may jeopardize!".
Time for alot of parents to wise up and start acting like parents!
Go to an open AA meeting and you will hear a common thread in every alcoholic's story. They started drinking very early and derailed their own social and emotional development. Why encourage and promote an attitude that teen drinking is a necessary rite of passage? Recent tragedies on NJ college campuses are a clear indication that this is a huge problem. Anything that is done to discourage teen drinking should be applauded. Non-drinking teens need to be affirmed by more than their own parents and I welcome help from the school. Girls are particularly vulnerable to this "anything goes" mentality. It is illegal for teens to drink in NJ. As far as the complaints about the unfairness of a zero tolerance policy - life isn't fair. Money and influence buy more injustice than a school policy.
I didn't drink when I was in High School. Didn't smoke or do drugs. Didn't have sex. I've always had my share of vices, that's not my point. My point is that these behaviors are NOT inevitable and do NOT need to be tolerated. And ABSOLUTELY should not be CONDONED.
"Part of growing up"? What a crock. Pull your head out, ladies and gentlemen. To be "part of growing up" means a behavior has been present throughout the world throughout history. That means BEYOND suburban America 1966-2008– what people living outside The Bubble might call The Real World. Where sixteen-year-olds who don't have mummy and daddy and the family lawyer to isolate them from consequences end up in squalor and destitution if they don't have their act together.
Brats.
i read all the comments and this is clearly a heated subject. I agree with some kind of policy from the school. All this talk about "what goes on in private is my business" is crap!!! When do we hold ourselves accountable for our own actions and grow up, when we are six feet under?? I just had a conversation with my 7th grader about all this stuff and explained to him that his behavoir matters no matter where he is or what he is doing. He is a reflection of me as I am of him. That is what my parents taught me, I didn't always like that but I know now why they taught me that so I could pass it on to my children. Don't get me wrong I am not disillusioned about my children being "angles" because they are not, but I do know that the core of their being is good for the most part. When I was younger a friends sister died 2 weeks before graduating high school because she left a party with her drunk boyfriend and got killed. It was a tradegy and kids will drink, but to not do anything is irresponsible on all our parts. It is up the generation that "has been there, done that" to show our children there is another way and it doesn't have be through drugs, alcohol or sex. They are only the symptoms of a much larger problem that lies within the family structure that is probably not being dealt with in a responsible manner because of fear, denial or just not caring. The moral fabric of this country is going to pot because of the lack of limitations and accountability. What do they have to look forward to if everything is handed to them
and they are always going to be bailed out by MOM or DAD. My father always told me that if I got arrested don't call him. Well fortunately I never I got arrested but I did some pretty stupid stuff in my day. I don't want the same for my children, as I am trying to guide them a little better than my parents did for me and hopefully they will be fine. I closing I would like to say that a code of conduct is necessary for all students, they are representatives of RBR and should conduct themsleves accordingly no matter where they are.
I agree with former rbr student '79, for someone to say that kids will be kids, is saying I am not responsible for my action. I am 22 and I do not drink or take drugs. Get real and stop spoiling your kids. If they are doing wrong correct them don't make it sound this is the way kids act. And please do not say all kids are doing drugs and drinking.
Grow up
It is refreshing to hear a young person's point of view that is mature and genuine. Not "ALL" kids are drinking etc, it's an excuse given by those who have their head in the sand about the real world. If we, as parents do not set the example, set boundries and make our children accountable, what is life going to be like in the future for us. Doesn't anyone realize that our children are our "FUTURE"?? That they will be our leaders, ceo's etc?? What are we telling them, that anything goes?? What happens to Ethics & Morals?? Out the window?? It is just amazing to me how people are just missing the whole point!!!!