Granted, it’s still the darkest days of the cultural offseason, but in today’s edition of Red Bank oRBit, we’ll remind you that there’s never nothing happening here in our prime-cut filet of the Shore — where the dreariest weeks of midwinter still manage to kick the crap out of much of the rest of the map.

There’s a chance, for example, to make some noise with the pots and pans alongside one of the Shore’s favorite chefs. High-profile appearances by a Nobel Prize nominee, a real live TV medium, and one of the great voices of New York rock radio. Opportunities for artists and media types to network (or not-work, as the case may be). Free (or wee-fee) screenings of recent motion pictures.

So, whether you’re getting up early to catch a big and free BCC appearance by author and activist Greg Mortenson (pictured), or heading out at night to catch psychic psensation Lisa Williams at the Basie or support your neighbor’s band, we’ve got the alternative to the umpteenth Office marathon — with a weeklong forecast of heavy participation — right here in Red Bank oRBit!