ESKY GOOSES GOOCH

Esquire magazine investing columnist Ken Kurson has planted a big wet one on GFI Group Inc., a Wall Street firm founded, run and majority-owned by Rumson’s Mickey Gooch, who co-owns the Two River Times with his wife, Diane Gooch.

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The September issue has Kurson exhorting readers to invest in GFI not in spite of the near-impossibility of their ever understanding what the company does, but precisely because of it.

GFI specializes in something called “credit-default swaps,” products that are, as Kurson says, “impossible to explain and of use to a tiny percentage of people.” But never mind that, because industries that are easy to understand attract way too much attention for anybody to make money on anymore. Besides, GFI is the leader in its multi-trillion-dollar industry, whatever it does, and Kurson has an analogy we can all understand. He writes, “If GFI sold hamburgers instead of hookups between those who buy and sell complex derivatives, the buzz about it would be unstoppable.”

Moreover, there’s absolutely no downside to GFI Burgers, or none that Kurson finds worth interrupting his hummer to mention.

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