Skip to content

A town square for an unsquare town

redbankgreen

Standing for the vitality of Red Bank, its community, and the fun we have together.

ESKY GOOSES GOOCH

Esquire magazine investing columnist Ken Kurson has planted a big wet one on GFI Group Inc., a Wall Street firm founded, run and majority-owned by Rumson’s Mickey Gooch, who co-owns the Two River Times with his wife, Diane Gooch.

Gooch_1

The September issue has Kurson exhorting readers to invest in GFI not in spite of the near-impossibility of their ever understanding what the company does, but precisely because of it.

GFI specializes in something called “credit-default swaps,” products that are, as Kurson says, “impossible to explain and of use to a tiny percentage of people.” But never mind that, because industries that are easy to understand attract way too much attention for anybody to make money on anymore. Besides, GFI is the leader in its multi-trillion-dollar industry, whatever it does, and Kurson has an analogy we can all understand. He writes, “If GFI sold hamburgers instead of hookups between those who buy and sell complex derivatives, the buzz about it would be unstoppable.”

Moreover, there’s absolutely no downside to GFI Burgers, or none that Kurson finds worth interrupting his hummer to mention.

OK, so in the penultimate paragraph, Kurson casually informs the reader that he bought “a few hundred” shares of GFI for $26 each soon after its IPO in January 2005, and has since added “a couple thousand, picking up more each time the stock dips below 50.” “You ought to do the same,” Kurson advises, turning the “buy-what-you-know” simplicity of investment gurus Peter Lynch and Warren Buffet on its head.

Oh, and by the way, Kurson adds, “I should mention that GFI’s CEO, Mickey Gooch, has become a friend of mine.” Pesky ethical requirement of the journalism game, you understand.

Anyway, there you have it: a rave from a completely disinterested party. Let’s have some of those GFI Burgers!

E-mail this story

Follow Red Bank Green on Instagram
@redbankgreen
Remember: Nothing makes a Red Bank friend happier than to hear "I saw you on Red Bank Green!"
redbankgreen Classics
Partyline
CARS, BARS AND VANS
Middletown resident Rob King was cruising through the Red Bank municipal parking lot behind the Dublin House Saturday night in his 1969 Plym ...
TWO SHORTS IN FILMONEFEST
Leonardo Morales Pitalua, a 20-year-old animator who lived in Red Bank until February, will have two short films shown at FilmOneFest in Hig ...
LONG DOGGONE WAIT
Partyline photo: The driver of an e-bike and his human passenger wait at the Monmouth Street train crossing while a northbound NJ Transit tr ...
WE’RE LICHEN THIS FUNGHI!
A mushroom sprouts from the mouth-like hole in this lichen-covered tree on the grounds of Red Bank Primary School Tuesday morning.
HELL STRIP FIREWORKS
Revelers launched fireworks from the hell strip in front of a home on Drs. James Parker Boulevard on July 4, one of many impromptu and quest ...
SWIMMING, ER, SCULLING RIVER?
Partyline photo captures a single rower working their way up the Swimming River.
SUMMER SUNRISE
A stunning Sunrise on the Navesink River in Red Bank Tuesday June 30.
BRAZEN LAWLESSNESS?
Who does this? One of those famously (and, yes apocryphally) illegal-to-remove mattress tags lies on the plaza outside the Count Basie Cente ...
SUNNY SKIES, JAZZY VIBES AT RED BANK ARTS FEST
A jazz combo comprised of current and former students of the Red Bank-based Jazz Arts Project performed at the first Red Bank Arts Festival ...
COOL JUNE BRIDE RIDE
It’s a wedding thing. (Photo and text by Rosann Dal Pra)   Follow Red Bank Green on Instagram @redbankgreen Follow
RED BANK CLASSIC 5k
Runners at the starting line of the Red Bank Classic 5k Saturday morning.
WORLD CUP WATCH PARTY AT COUNT BASIE FIELD
Solid turnout, festive vibes and a huge Mexico win: Count Basie Park World Cup Watch Party photos. (Click to read)
DOUBLE RAINBOW OVER RED BANK
Partyline contributor captures stunning double rainbow over Red Bank.
RED BANK: SINKHOLE ON SHREWSBURY AVE
Emergency sinkhole repairs closed Shrewsbury Avenue northbound traffic for most of the day Wednesday.
NAVESINK SUNRISE
Partyliner captures stunning sunrise over the Navesink River in Red Bank.
DRONES SCRUB BANK BUILDING
Partyline photo: A power washing drone was used to clean the exterior of the Ocean First Bank Building at 110 West Front Street recently.
MESSAGE TO READERS
Please stand by: A quick message to readers about a pause in news coverage.
IN THE DISTANCE, NEW STATUE UNVEILED
A new monument commemorating the 250th anniversary of US Independence is unveiled in a park that only has a Red Bank mailing address.
CARPY DIEM
From the redbankgreen Partyline: A pair of large carp cruise the shallows under Hubbard's Bridge (Senator Kyrillos Bridge) on Front Street T ...
BIBS ON FOR OPENING DAY
Partyline: Two longtime neighbors re-unite for lobsters on the Boondocks Fishery opening day.