Skip to content

A town square for an unsquare town

redbankgreen

Standing for the vitality of Red Bank, its community, and the fun we have together.

ESKY GOOSES GOOCH

Esquire magazine investing columnist Ken Kurson has planted a big wet one on GFI Group Inc., a Wall Street firm founded, run and majority-owned by Rumson’s Mickey Gooch, who co-owns the Two River Times with his wife, Diane Gooch.

Gooch_1

The September issue has Kurson exhorting readers to invest in GFI not in spite of the near-impossibility of their ever understanding what the company does, but precisely because of it.

GFI specializes in something called “credit-default swaps,” products that are, as Kurson says, “impossible to explain and of use to a tiny percentage of people.” But never mind that, because industries that are easy to understand attract way too much attention for anybody to make money on anymore. Besides, GFI is the leader in its multi-trillion-dollar industry, whatever it does, and Kurson has an analogy we can all understand. He writes, “If GFI sold hamburgers instead of hookups between those who buy and sell complex derivatives, the buzz about it would be unstoppable.”

Moreover, there’s absolutely no downside to GFI Burgers, or none that Kurson finds worth interrupting his hummer to mention.

OK, so in the penultimate paragraph, Kurson casually informs the reader that he bought “a few hundred” shares of GFI for $26 each soon after its IPO in January 2005, and has since added “a couple thousand, picking up more each time the stock dips below 50.” “You ought to do the same,” Kurson advises, turning the “buy-what-you-know” simplicity of investment gurus Peter Lynch and Warren Buffet on its head.

Oh, and by the way, Kurson adds, “I should mention that GFI’s CEO, Mickey Gooch, has become a friend of mine.” Pesky ethical requirement of the journalism game, you understand.

Anyway, there you have it: a rave from a completely disinterested party. Let’s have some of those GFI Burgers!

E-mail this story

Follow Red Bank Green on Instagram
@redbankgreen
Remember: Nothing makes a Red Bank friend happier than to hear "I saw you on Red Bank Green!"
redbankgreen Classics
Partyline
APOSTROPHE CATASTROPHE
As a curmudgeonly curator of terrible punctuation on public signs, I’ve seen and shaken my head at a lot of gratuitous quotation marks ...
DANE FOR DEMOCRACY
redbankgreen Partyline captures a great dane who, all signs indicate, has had enough.
SUNFLOWER GAUNTLET
On the Partyline: a sunflower guantlet on River Street.
VIGIL FOR 68 DEAD
About 100 people attended a Saturday vigil at Johnny Jazz Park in Red Bank as part of a nationwide series of events to mourn the lives of pe ...
LITTERBUGS HIT MARINE PARK
Partyline PSA: Please don't leave your trash in our nice new park!
PARKING SUCCESS AT RED ROCK
All these people found parking for the Cliffs at Red Rock!
SHO AND TELL
A peak inside Sho Asian Table a new restaurant still under construction and slated to open later this summer at 8 West Front Street in Red B ...
“Night of the Living Nick” Halloween Car Turns Heads
Nick Brown, a special effects artist from the Atlantic Highlands, was seen driving his creatively decorated Halloween car around Red Bank th ...
“HOLY F***!” LIGHTNING STRIKE FROM WASHINGTON STREET BACKYARD
Lightning struck during Saturday’s storms in the backyard of Washington Street resident Kimberly Johnson. The strike obviously caught ever ...
SMOKY NAVESINK SUNRISE
redbankgreen's partyline photographer Karly Swaim captured the sun rising through hazy, smoky skies above the Navesink River from NJ Transit ...
MAGGIE’S HEAT WAVE HAIRCUT
Maggie, a golden doodle who belongs to Sara Horan, shows off her new shorter-for-summer hair cut outside Fins & Feathers on Monmouth Street ...
PEACE, LOVE AND JUGGLING
Music and flow arts filled Riverside Gardens Park Friday night at the free flow arts meetup hosted by Cirque de Peace, with guest band Sweet ...
IMMIGRATION PROTESTS CONTINUE
Protests against a wave of immigration arrests in Red Bank and nationwide continued for a third and fourth straight day on Shrewsbury Avenue ...
CARS, BARS AND VANS
Middletown resident Rob King was cruising through the Red Bank municipal parking lot behind the Dublin House Saturday night in his 1969 Plym ...
TWO SHORTS IN FILMONEFEST
Leonardo Morales Pitalua, a 20-year-old animator who lived in Red Bank until February, will have two short films shown at FilmOneFest in Hig ...
LONG DOGGONE WAIT
Partyline photo: The driver of an e-bike and his human passenger wait at the Monmouth Street train crossing while a northbound NJ Transit tr ...
WE’RE LICHEN THIS FUNGHI!
A mushroom sprouts from the mouth-like hole in this lichen-covered tree on the grounds of Red Bank Primary School Tuesday morning.
HELL STRIP FIREWORKS
Revelers launched fireworks from the hell strip in front of a home on Drs. James Parker Boulevard on July 4, one of many impromptu and quest ...
SWIMMING, ER, SCULLING RIVER?
Partyline photo captures a single rower working their way up the Swimming River.
SUMMER SUNRISE
A stunning Sunrise on the Navesink River in Red Bank Tuesday June 30.